Free Whine or why not to marry again and again and again

I haven't blogged in so long, I have a lot to whine about. Well, for starters, I left the fisherman - husband number 4 - Yes, that's right number FOUR.
I moved from Maine to Minnesota to live with my daughter and her large but wonderful family.

I figured I'd have no trouble landing a job immediately - it's been a month and so far not even a bite. Of course, instead of really really trying to get a job, I have been enjoying getting to know my grandchildren again. And living without constantly saying "I'm not allowed".

Today I went to get a haircut so I would look a little more professional and not like a 55 yr old still hanging onto her 60's hippie look. I also wanted to get the haircut before I went to change my driver's license.

It's almost April - and wouldn't you know it - snow, snow, snow. So my grandson - whose wallet with his driver's license was lost - and I drive to the next town over, in the snow storm - to get our driver's licenses. First they see that my license is from Maine and ask if I've ever had a Minnesota license. I said yes, but it has been over 20 year ago. So I need to take the written test. I already knew that and had read the manual online- I am prepared. But, what I didn't know, was that in these little bitty one-horse towns (that I love), you can only take the test at 10am on Thursdays - and today is Monday. Ok, so I'll have to come back again.

Oh, by the way, "How many times have you been married?" Excuse me? Is that any of your business? (I didn't say that) Four. Yep, four. "Did you ever take back your maiden name?" Um, nope. "Well, you will have to bring in 2 forms of identification - one of which is a certified copy of your birth certificate (Primary Documents) and one from the (Secondary Documents) Current photo driver's license, or Social Security Card." OK, no problem.

"And - certified copies of all of your marriage certificates" Excuse me? All of them? I have the divorce paperwork - won't that work? "No, it has to be certified copies of all of the marriage certificates." It's new policy because of the 911 incident. Why are you picking on me? Do I look like a spy or terrorist or something? _ No, I didn't say that.

Not only have I been married 4 times, it was in 4 different states! How long is it going to take to get all of these documents? How much money is it going to cost? Do I have time to get a job first? By the time I get them, I'll be driving illegally - don't I have to switch my driver's license withing 30 days? "No, you have 60 days." Gee, Thanks alot.

I'm moving back to Maine - Not.

Ok, so I get home, It's too late to call Maine - time difference ya know. So I start with Minnesota - 1969 - I call the county office and they kindly look it up, yep they have it. Send $9 and request the certificate with the names and dates - mail it to such and such address. OK, so far so good.

Next, call South Dakota - 1975. 3 different numbers until I reach the right person. They are mailing me a form to fill out to request the certificate. I have no idea what it will cost. Ok, next?

Arizona. Only 2 calls. I'm really not sure about the date - so I guess 1985 - right. They also have it. $23.00 with my debit card and it's on the way.

So, tomorrow I'll see about Maine. Right now, I just want to go to bed and sleep til it is all over. Bummer, bummer, bummer. I should never have divorced or ever married - Not really - I have learned from each marriage - granted, I am a sloooooooowwwwwwww learner. I have wonderful children and grandchildren and friends from each marriage. I just won't do it again. Never, ever, ever again!!!!!

Anyone have any cheese to go with my whine?