Rebuttal to Senility

Thirteen Things about Pauline 1.... Start your list here! This is the List from my dd blog about me - can you believe it?- I think I need to clarify a few things. I can never get these font buttons to work right for me - go figure. Thirteen Things that point to my mom's (that would be me) senility My mom (over 50) moved in with us several months ago to get on her feet financially. I don't think she should ever move out, and here is why: 1. Mom couldn't find her phone anywhere, and she was starting to freak out at me because I had used her phone last. I told her I clipped the phone to her purse strap. Could not find it. She tore the purse apart, searched the car, her room, the computer desk. Finally I called the phone and found it clipped to her purse strap. Yes, the purse she had emptied looking for it. Well, come on - the phone is black, the phone case is black leather, the purse is black leather - the phone is small - it must have been dark in the kitchen 2. I got a call from my mom's cell phone one day, but there was a man on the other end, not my mom. She had left her entire purse, and cell phone, at the grocery store. Thank goodness she was with my mother in law so I could call and have her go back for it. That was entirely my granddaughter's fault - she was supposed to be watching me (and her other grandma) that day. That was why we let her come along. 3. One night I got a call from Pamida. They had found mom's cell phone in the parking lot. I probably wouldn't have dropped it i the parking lot if I wasn't busy taking (someone's children - because she was home with a "headache") my darling grand babies out of the cart - and besides, I was still stressed out from losing my phone earlier in the day at Cub Foods - dd called my phone for me and nice gentleman answered - and she didn't tell me it was there - I figured it out by myself - but he did tell me that she had called. (not the same guy from the day I left my purse.) 4. One day mom was really freaking out, she could NOT find her phone. (what's new, right?) She tore the place apart looking for it, and was just near spazzing. So I called it while she looked for it in her room. She had used it for a book mark the night before and put it on her book shelf. Now, you have to admit - that is a very creative use for a cell phone - the case has a really neat clippy thing on it. 5. Mom and I were visiting in her room and she wanted to show me something, so she went to her closet to get it. The closet is pretty big, it even has a window, but it isn't THAT big. I asked her "When did your curtain rod fall down?" She said "It didn't!" Then she looked and it had fallen, and she should have seen it when she walked straight toward it walking in, or when standing next to it digging in the dresser. You see, I am a very focused person - I was concentrating on finding some artwork that was buried on top of the dresser in the closet - I was not - I repeat NOT - looking for clothes. 6. Even after living with us for 2 months, my mom couldn't find her way around my house. She would head toward the bathroom when she wanted the dining room, and head to the dining room when she wanted the bathroom or stairs. She always got lost. She's stopped telling us now, but I don't know if she has it figured out or not. We were going to put up signs for her birthday, but decided to be nice. If they would quit moving the bathroom from one side of the house to the other, I wouldn't have that problem - geeezzz 7. We are afraid if she moves out that she will actually start on her plan to make a sequel to "27 Dresses" and make it 27 Wedding Dresses, always a Bride and Never a Bridesmaid. (she's been married 4 times, she is already on her way, we are going to start calling her a serial bride, lol, and she finds this funny, too, it's a joke) Who says it's a joke? I think Hollywood will love the story - did she tell you that every wedding was in a different state? 8. She lost her phone, again, and it was right next to her on the desk. This has happened so many times that I could do an entire TT on it alone, but it would get too repetitive, right? Again, tiny black phone, black case, and black desktop 9. In order to show the need to move her in the first place, we could ask her how many times she forgot her dog at work for the night and had to go back and get her. Don't ask me how many times - I don't remember. 10. Her driving is getting to the point that her dog won't get in the car with her. But if your head broke the windshield from slamming on the brakes, would you want to ride with that driver again? Her head didn't break the windshield - just cracked it - she just won't stay in the seatbelt. 11. Mom has breakfast at a cafe every morning with my mother in law. They both lived in the same area for many, many years and know a lot of the same people. In fact, they both owned the same house, at different times, of course. (that would mean that in our growing up years, both my husband and I spent time growing up in the same house at different times.) Well, they talk and talk and talk every day, and they never run out of things to say. Because they don't remember things so their repeat stories are always new. .How does she know if we repeat our stories? When we are at breakfast - her lazy behind is still in bed. 12. If she moved out, who would laugh at her comfort her when she comes home crying about seeing road kill after work? I will just pick up a couple of movies to drown my sorrows - like Bambi or Dumbo or Stepmom or Old Yeller 13. And if she didn't live here, I think the dog would get sick of being the only one to scare all the time. Oh believe me, they are very afraid of me down at the grocery store when they see me walking down the aisle pushing a cart with a very lost, scared look in my eyes - shaking my head and muttering "I know I had it when I came in here"

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