Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Makes you think

A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busyboulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He didthe right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beatenthe red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming infrustration, as she missed her chance to get through the intersection, droppingher cell phone and makeup.

As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked upinto the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her toexit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted,photographed, and placed in a holding cell.

After a couple of hours, apoliceman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back tothe booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personaleffects.

He said, 'I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled upbehind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy infront of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'What Would Jesus Do bumper sticker, the Choose Life license plate holder, the Follow Me to Sunday-School bumpersticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk; naturally... I assumed you had stolen the car.'

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Turkey Fight - Almost

I saw these 3 turkey near one of our apartment complexes - The 2 toms seemed to be squaring off against each other over the hen.
Hey - I'm the Tommy around here!

Are you looking at Me???

Mika was barking - so I looked out on our deck to see this cutie.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Ah ha

I googled the "Pink Shoelaces" lyrics - and I was right after all. Who remembers this tune?

Now I've got a guy and his name is Dooley
He's my guy and I love him truly
He's not good lookin', heaven knows
But I'm wild about his crazy clothes

He wears tan shoes with pink shoelaces
A polka dot vest and man, oh, man
Tan shoes with pink shoelaces
And a big Panama with a purple hat band

Ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh

He takes me deep-sea fishing in a submarine
We go to drive-in movies in a limousine
He's got a whirly-birdy and a 12 foot yacht
Ah, but thats-a not all he's got

He's got tan shoes with pink shoelaces
A polka dot vest and man, oh, man
He's got tan shoes with pink shoelaces
And a big Panama with a purple hat band

Now Dooley had a feelin' we were goin' to war
So he went out and enlisted in a fightin' corps
But he landed in the brig for raisin' such a storm
When they tried to put 'im in a uniform

He wanted tan shoes with pink shoelaces
A polka dot vest and man, oh, man
He wanted tan shoes with pink shoelaces
And a big Panama with a purple hat band

Ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh

Now one day Dooley started feelin' sick
And he decided that he better make his will out quick
He said
"Just before the angels come to carry me
I want it down in writin' how to bury me."

A wearin' tan shoes with pink shoelaces
A polka dot vest and man, oh, man
Give me tan shoes with pink shoelaces
And a big Panama with a purple hat band

Ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh

And a big Panama with a purple hat band!!

It is by Dodie Stevens and called Pink Shoelaces - I had to call both of my sisters and then they remembered the song.

Slip of the tongue or mind????

I recently made fun of my daughter and granddaughter's error in song lyrics. What goes around comes around. Tonight at the dinner table, Arianna told David that some boy they both know wears pink shoe laces. I say "Isn't there a song about pink shoelaces?" No one can think of one, but I have the tune in my head - so I call my sister, Gwen and ask her. She says, "A white sport coat, and a pink CARNATION" - Oooops - you mean it wasn't "A white sport coat and pink shoe laces? my bad."

I've been working pretty hard lately at being a "Sally" (which is what guys call guys who don't do guy things well - like construction or handy man stuff), so I am really exhausted when I get home. The other night I decided to say grace and started "Come Lord George" Where on earth did that come from? The kids almost fell off their chairs laughing at me. I'll never live it down.

Lastest Paintings

Monday, April 20, 2009

Ready for some Whine?

I've had several people say they haven't heard from me lately and wonder what's new. So prepare yourselves.

1. I moved back to Maine to my ex-husband, and his (our) 2 grandchildren and our fat cat - Midnight. Mika is soooooo pleased to be home. She is very busy barking to let everyone know she's back - especially the squirrels and her neighbor friend - Jake.

"Can Mika come out to play, please? Please? Or at least give me a pig ear"

2. The kids are happy to have me back, and I am very glad to be back in their lives.

Getting ready for Easter

3. We have a new Great Grandson - Bradley - Here he is with his Papa.

4. We invested in a new 11 unit apartment complex - actually 3 buildings - 1 has 6 units, 1 has 4 units and 1 in a single unit. It came with 9 units occupied. I say occupied- because not all of them bother to pay their rent. The 6 unit building is a disaster - it has 2 units empty - we have already put in over $5,000 in the renovation of one of them. The other empty shouldn't be too bad - just a gutted bathroom and new carpeting and linoleum - oh and some sheetrock repair. 2 units are kept up fairly well, but one of them is 6 weeks behind in rent and I will be giving them a 7 day pay or quit notice. The other 2 are a mess - both are rented and they pay on time with help from the state. One has 2 huge dogs, 3 birds, 2 little girls, a mom and her brother. I have literally never been in a place so filthy and smelly. The other one has 2 cats, birds, 4 little boys and a mom and dad. They seem really nice - but it sure is crowded. We, as new landlords, have decided no pets - especially no dogs. So far, the dogs are still there. Now we found out that there are cockroaches. The 2 messies apartments have several occupants with allergies and don't want it bombed, others are upset and want the whole building bombed. Goodness - what a challenge this is turning out to be. The 4 unit building now has one empty unit that I am having another challenge on how to get rid of the cigarette odor. That tenant left owing a month's rent. The other bottom unit is awful. The tenants have never paid rent at all, they won't let us in to inspect. They hand papers back and forth through a torn screen door. I did get partway in a while ago and noticed that there is a padlock on the closet door in the living room. They also have 2 pitbulls. The other day they flooded the basement by using a dishwasher (not allowed) draining in their plugged sink. We gave them a 7 day in March and had our lawyer serve them again in April - we go to court in May. The 2 units upstairs keep their apartments immaculate, but one is almost a month late. The single unit has one man with 2 chihuahuas that are near death they are so old. Since he lives alone, we are letting him grandfather his dogs, but he can't replace them. He is the only one who pays his own heat - so he literally wrapped his whole house in plastic.

5. I am managing all of our rentals now, and not having to work another full-time job like before. We now have 19 apartments units (2 complexes), 36 storage units, 2 mobile homes, and 3 houses, oh and one house that we have never gotten ready to rent yet. Besides doing the bookwork, collecting rents, doing the banking, etc.. I'm also learning to do light???? maintenance. On the apartment we are almost done with - I've sanded sheetrock, removed trim from around doors and windows, removed baseboards, removed baseboard heater vents, cut and rolled up old carpets, removed tackstrips, removed nails from boards, removed old floor tiles, picked up lots of trash in the yard, replaced end caps on baseboard heater vents (in the apartment that is filthy - my pant legs almost stuck to the floor), gone to the dump and unloaded a toilet, metal junk, and the second trip, the entire old set of kitchen cabinets (by myself). Uff-da - I'm getting tired just thinking about it.
6. The Captain hired a nanny-housekeeper while I was being the prodigal wife. Not working out at all. She will be here until the end of this month. I like her ok, but she is sooooo slow. Anyway - with me here now, we don't need a full-time nanny-housekeeper. The ideal situation would be someone to come in before the bus got here to get the kids started on their homework, start the evening meal, and do some housework. With the costs involved in the newest apartment complex, it doesn't look like we'll be able to hire anyone full-time. The Captain is guessing that he will be done fishing from the middle of July until March - so with 2 of us here, we should be able to handle it. I will miss not having to do laundry or vacuuming. Oh well.
7. It might snow or at least sleet tonight - yuk.

Kids say the darndest things

I just overheard my grandchildren singing "The Clapping Song" - Arianna sang - 3, 6, 9 the goose drank wine, the monkey chewed tobacco on the cell phone line. Too funny. It reminds of the way my daughter Lisa used to sing "Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer" She always sang - "Then one froggy Christmas Eve,"