What I wantED to be when I grew up

I took the grand kids down to Massachusetts to see the Captain's new boat. Long drive - 4.5 hrs. On the way I was musing about how I wanted to be a veterinarian when I was young. And now, at age 55, I can see the wisdom of God telling me "no". He knows how I love animals, I am passionate about them. But obviously I was not cut out to be a vet. Heaven's I cried in Dumbo and The Jungle Book as an adult even.

But thinking about the past week, made me understand that God definitely knows me better than I knew myself. On my way to work one day I saw a bird by my neighbor's driveway - it had been hit by a car and was flopping around on the side of the road - that in itself was not my undoing - but the other bird that kept flying down to it and then leaving and coming back as if to say "Come on, get up, you can do it! Please get up!" started the tears. Then another day on my way to work I noticed a duck with three babies swimming in a pond - a few days later she was swimming with only one baby - now I don't see any of them, and I'm ready to cry again just thinking about it.
Yesterday we went to a little country fair and a cow gave birth while we were there. The owner sat by her head and comforted her while she was in labor - I think it was her first. I have never seen a cow so loving to a person - she licked her and snuggled to get the comfort she needed. She seemed to be having such a hard time - I didn't understand why they didn't help her deliver. Sometimes she would look around and I could imagine her thinking "I wish all these people would quit staring at me - leave me alone - I hurt - this is a special time for me and I don't want to share it with strangers" I had to leave and let her have some dignity - but of course the other 40 people stayed around staring at her. We saw her beautiful calf a little later. But she wasn't in the pen with the new mamma - and the new mamma was not very happy - she reached through the fence and tried to nurture the baby.

My heart is too soft to be able to be a good vet. I cry watching animal planet - I would be emotionally spent if I had to watch animals suffer or die on a daily basis. I understand the survival of the fittest - but my heart breaks and I would probably do more harm than good - I'll let those who are more gifted in the healing area and be content to love and cherish the animals. I'll just have to be something else when I grow up.